I am angry at my pants

I was sitting in a folding chair on the driveway next to our driveway fire pit enjoying an evening of mild temperatures and a crackling fire. The shorts I was wearing were examples of the ill designed cargo shorts that are so popular these days with the kids. Mine have shallow front pockets that gape when sitting, and are otherwise appointed with poorly thought out exterior cargo pockets designed for the carrying of things that are either highly improbable or just don't exist. One of the pockets on these shorts seems to be designed to carry a salt shaker. Anyway my telephone slipped out of my pocket and clattered about on the concrete. I was nauseated by the appearance of several nasty scratches on what would be the bezel around the screen. I am usually the type of person that believes that if you must put some kind of protective case on your telephone, you probably need to wear a helmet around just for general safety. I exclaimed foul oaths and probably insulted my wife when I said "Great! Now I'm one of those people who walks around with a fucked up telephone." to which she replied "Like me?" referring to her slightly less than mint iPhone.

I shall never wear those shorts again.